London Aspen

lulu_lizzrd, I think that your poem whould sound less repetitive if you made it something like: Sing a song that opens your heart Dance a dance that 'wakens your eyes ...

Sleeping Fairgrounds Carousels dream about Old rocking horses, Faded wallpaper peels, And little dolls lying Forgotten on beds. Fun mirrors make you Dance and hop slowly, Unsure of how to ...

Incandescence, I think you are the best writer on this site. The poems I read in my Norton Anthology Of Poetry are about how 'anyone lived in a pretty how ...

ConorR, I didn't understand your poem. Also, the words weren't very interesting. Using my thesaurus, I rewrote your poem using words I didn't know. Mine sounds like a spell. The ...

Thanks for replying guys! I took your advice and re-wrote it.-London

Fire Cinders blushing red, Seeking wood. Desperate flames Jump from log to log.

Bent, Last week I read a haiku that ANI wrote, and that inspired me to write many haikus. Was there a reason that there was no punctuation? -London

cathy,I didn't understand the punctuation. In the last stanza, the line about the ocean did not fit in the poem. The poem is about stars. You could keep the line, ...

Thanks for looking at my poem. I was overjoyed when I came home from school and I had two replies! I really am nine, and in fourth grade. I have ...

The Fountain Her solitary eyes weep miserably. Her sorrowful, tear streaked face Peers around the vacant park, Seeking a passerby to help her to her feet. Yet, seeing that she ...

It reads aloud well. I like the description in the second stanza. I was disappointed by the last stanza. I would have kept it more alive. -London

Soldier boy jack, When i am bored and don't know what to write, I often stare at something, start with a simile, and continue describing. After I have written something, ...

Thanks for looking at my story. I'm in fourth grade this year, but I've been writing for two years. -London

It was dark in the woods, for the leafy canopy blocked out all the sunlight. Carla made her way through the woods. She could hear nothing, not even the horses ...

Carla Tinnock stared wearily at the ceiling of her attic bedroom, and quietly listened to the sound of early risers eating breakfast in the lobby. She was remembering her mother ...